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“This Fat Girl is Fernando Vargas:” A Tribute to Ricardo Mayorga’s Best Trash Talk

(Originally Published in Boxing.com)

44-year-old former two-division world champ Ricardo Mayorga has officially put an end to his topsy-turvy 24-year career.

"When I was a kid, I promised my mother that I would become the boxing world champion," an emotional Mayorga said during a television interview in his native Nicaragua. “I think that the sport is for young people and I think I'm already at the point [where I'm not young anymore]. I think it's time to hang up the gloves and say goodbye to boxing. I'm very grateful to God.”

Although the brawler from Managua registered several quality wins during his career, beating the likes of Andrew “Six Heads” Lewis, Vernon Forrest [twice], and Fernando Vargas, Mayorga is best known for his high-octane trash talk and his image as a cigarette-smoking real-life thug.

Despite usually coming up short in big fights later in his career, Mayorga made a nice living as a professional asshole and salesman supreme for more than a decade against older “name” fighters like Oscar De la Hoya, Felix Trinidad, Fernando Vargas, Miguel Cotto and Shane Mosley.

Nobody could talk trash like the former welterweight and junior middleweight champ and it’s pretty safe to say that there’ll never be anyone like him again.

Here, for your bawdy enjoyment, is a fairly NSFW list of Ricardo Mayorga’s most scandalous trash talk:

“In any weight class I'm stronger than him. This is all about the hormones that you have in your body, and I have too many men's hormones in my body, and he doesn't. He has some girl's hormones in his body, so I'm stronger than him no matter what.” [About Fernando Vargas]

"I want to stop his heart. I not only want to stop him, I want to stop his heart or detach his retina, one of the two. I really want to do damage to him." [About Oscar de la Hoya]

“After I kill [Fernando] Vargas, I will volunteer to be the step-dad to Vargas’ kids after his death.”

“I will knock out Vernon Forrest in two rounds whether I have a cigarette or not. I know a lot of people want to see me fight more rounds. So, if HBO wants, they can pick two sparring partners for me to fight after I knock out Forrest. That way, the audience can see me fight 12 rounds.”

“All my fans, especially my Latino fans and Nicaraguan fans, I promise you I will become world champion. After I become world champion [Michele] Piccirillo can go back to Italy and make pizza or pasta or whatever it is he does over there.”

“Spinks, I promise to reunite you to your dead mother.” [After Cory Spinks dedicated their bout to his recently deceased mother]

“I'm going to give [Fernando]Vargas the chance to cash his last paycheck. I would like to say publicly that Fatty Vargas has always feared me. I conceded to take this fight at 162 pounds because fatty couldn't lose any more weight. I will do Vargas a favor by retiring him in this fight so his family doesn't have to suffer every time he steps in the ring. I'm going to do his wife a favor and not let her cry anymore.”

“I am upset because he did not call me for Father's Day. I am going to give him a whipping because I did not get my present.” [About Vernon Forrest]

“You remind me of an old lady that's past her prime that should be sitting home in a rocking chair doing nothing.” [To Oscar De la Hoya]

“This will be Shane’s permanent return home because the old lady needs a home." [About Shane Mosley]

(Holding up a photo of Fernando Vargas) “You see this fat girl in this photo? This is the fat girl I am going to knock out. I would like to introduce her to you today. She is Fernando Vargas.”

“This is the first time I will fight someone that is as small as a kid. I think my pants are taller than you.” [To Miguel Cotto]

"You look like my kid’s ass, nice and round." [To Fernando Vargas]

"On May 6th I'm going to make you my bitch.You're going to be my bitch in my bed anytime I want you. I hate bitches and I'm going to make you my little bitch." {To Oscar De la Hoya]

"Tell your wife to fuck you in the morning so you stand and fight me. Don't take a dive like you did against Bernard Hopkins, faggot." [To Oscar De la Hoya]

“I had a dream last night that I threw a rotten orange at Fernando Vargas and hit him on the chin. And he went down. And he didn't get back up. That's what is going to happen on September 8th.”

“You better start injecting steroids again, because you are going to need it against me.” [To Fernando Vargas]

“Not even [Vernon] Forrest's dog is going to recognize him when he goes home.”

"In my country, women give birth to men. I will spank [Vernon] Forrest just like a man spanks a boy."

“After I knock you out Oscar [De la Hoya], I look forward to drinking the warm milk from your wife’s breast.”

“When we were doing the HBO shoot, I remember him [Oscar De la Hoya] saying that he was going to take the belt away from me,...I go, 'The only way you're going to take this belt away from me is if you let me have your wife for a night and I'll let you have the belt for a hour.’ ”

“Spinks, you are a faggot, I want to sew a pair of nuts on you so you can stand and fight in front of me next time like a man.”

“I’m not going to fight pretty. All I know is how to hit hard. I will hit Tito’s memory right out of his head.” [About Felix Trinidad]

“I am going to carry a 14-pound pig named Vargas into the ring. [Fernando] Vargas is nothing more than a pig. That is all that he is.”

“All I ask of you is that you come and fight like a man. Don’t run or else I’m going to buy you roller blades and a pink outfit to go with the pink gloves I gave to you at the last press conference.” [To Shane Mosley]

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